Books

Tuesday, I finally finished a book I had designated to read only when I was on my lunch break at work.  Let's just say I couldn't get enough of it!  The book I'm currently raving about is Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith.  He is also the author of Pride Prejudice and Zombies, which is the next book on my list to read.  The Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter book is a combination of true historical facts, and fiction.  As much as I love history and hate history being skewed, I loved this book!  It starts with a young Abraham watching his mother die from an unknown illness, to his discovery that his mother was killed by a loan-shark vampire.  It is this event that catapults young Abraham into a vengeful rage where he professes to kill every single vampire.  The story follows his political aspirations from the very beginning to the absolute end of his political career.  The book is full of accurate historical facts that is meshed with a vampire agenda to take over the whole of the United States.  If you enjoy the amazing story of Abraham Lincoln, and secretly enjoy stories about vampires you will love this book!  I definitely recommend reading this book.  

My book on my desk w/my Trueblood book mark!

Current read:Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith.  This is suppose to be a prequel to the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith.  So far I've only read about 3 chapters of the book.  It does not follow the story that we know as Pride and Prejudice written by Jane Austen.  But since I am a avid horror lover this book should be right up my alley, even if it doesn't follow the story that I have proclaimed to be my favorite.

Happy tummy=happy husband

I found this recipe on Pinterest, and I just had to share!  The lady that initally wrote the recipe on her blog has many more delicious recipes that I would suggest checking out!  I'm going to try these out sometime soon myself!
Chocolate Chip Oreo Chunk Cookies

by SYDNEY

Your ingredients.

Combine your flour, baking soda, and salt.

Beat together your butter and sugars.

Add in the egg and the egg yolk, one at a time, until just combined. Add in the vanilla.

Mix in the flour until just combined, then stir in the Oreo cookies, the chocolate chips, and the white chocolate chips.

Place spoonfuls of the dough onto a greased and/or lined baking sheet, and bake at 325 degrees F for 10-12 minutes, until the cookies are just beginning to become golden around the edges.

Allow to cool completely and try to only eat one!

Chocolate Chip Oreo Chunk Cookies
adapted from LiveFire
Print this recipe

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 cup milk, semisweet, or dark chocolate chips (whatever your preference)
1 cup white chocolate chips
2 cups crushed Oreo cookies (not too crushed – use your hands, not a food processor; about 15-20 Oreos)

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (or 310 degrees F for convection). Grease and or line your cookie sheets.

2. Sift the flour, salt and baking soda together and set aside.

3. Mix the sugars and melted butter just until thoroughly mixed, then add egg, yolk and vanilla and mix until creamy. Add the sifted ingredients and mix until just blended – don’t over beat!

4. Stir in the Oreo chunk, chocolate chips, and white chocolate chips by hand. Drop spoonfuls of the dough onto a greased and/or lined baking sheet, and bake for 10-12 minutes, depending on the size of your cookies and heat of your oven. The edges of the cookies should just start to be turning golden.

5. Leave them on the cookie sheet to cool a bit when removed from the oven (this is important as they fall apart if you move them too quickly). Once they cool a few minutes, remove the cookies to a cooling rack to finish cooling. Makes 15-20 cookies, depending on their size.

Ella lee y corre...

Things certainly have gotten interesting here lately.  With the future unsure and my heart telling me that I want to stay here, and have everything stay the same.  If there's anything I hate, it's change.  Change may be coming, and it's not just a little bit of it.  It's a lot of it!  At this point I don't feel comfortable in elaborating, but I feel as though I need to say something or otherwise I will burst.  I typically pride myself on being a free thinker, and not a follower.  Mostly because I've seen what can happen when you let something that sounds so silly, make you do unusual things.  And this may be where my gut wrenching struggle comes in.  Do I let go of all I thought was right and safe, or do I give a new experience a try?  It isn't something you can easily come back to, but it's life altering and almost to the point of permanent.  I know life isn't made of easy decisions, but I don't know if my husband or I are clear enough thinkers to allow ourselves to make one of this magnitude.  I guess you'll never know if something was a bad decision unless you try...  I'm struggling to find my way in all of this, but I guess what happens will happen.

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there."-Lewis Carroll
"No one that never did nothing, did anything."
"If you only do what you know you can do-you never do very much."-Tom Krause

Clear eyes

Don't let the title fool you, I do have me some itchy eyes today.  I haven't blogged in quite some time now.  This Summer has proven to be even more busy than I thought it would.  I have had something to do every weekend, and almost every day of the weekend we have plans.  Most of it has been here in town, but I did get a chance to go visit my sister in-law for a weekend by myself.  Mostly my hubby has been busy working his full time job, and working at his master's program internship.  We don't usually get to see each other much during the week, but I'm ok with that as long as it's to complete his masters degree.  Week days are just as busy as the weekends, but mostly they are spent by making dinner and working out.  The working out has really paid off for me so far.  Although the past month or so has been spent relosing the same 3 lbs.  But I think I might have finally broke that barrier.  I'm really excited about the weight loss I'm expierencing, as well as the thought of buying new clothes! 
Work has proved to be just as busy as I thought it would be for this time of year.  Especially when you have a co-worker that's less than stellar.  I didn't know coming in almost 30 minutes late everyday was something you could do and not get fired.  I also didn't know that you could take an hour lunch everyday when you only work six hours a day.  Part time work must be great!  Apparently this person doesn't care, because it's been this way since she's worked here and no one has said anything to her to mend the problem.  Needless to say if I had known I could do that to get away with it I would have stuck to part time work!

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."-Lewis Carroll

I need a new purse... Ongoing post...

Bag : Mulberry

I pledge allegiance to the dad?

I've only briefly touched on the subject of my Dad.  And that's because there wasn't much to report, other than the douchey things he's done to me in past 26 years of my existence...  None of which I can let myself hold on to for fear of letting that "become me".  Recently I started speaking with my older sister, and it took a long drawn out weekend of emotions for us to get to that point.  At which point my dad decided to contact me...  I did finally meet up with her at our Dad's house while she was in town for the first time in several years.  It took a lot of time for me to convince myself that I could go over to my Dad's house, and be put in a possible uncomfortable situation.  I guess what bothers me the most is that my Dad didn't try to contact me until Stac and I decided to try to get together.  I guess I just wanted his communication with me to come from a genuine need to see me, or make things right.  But to quote my sister Allison, "you shouldn't expect anything from Dad, it's far less disappointing that way".  All my life my Dad has been nothing less than a disappointment.  The upside of that is that I know how I will and won't treat my future children.  You can tell your child you love him/her, but it's your actions that tell them you love them.  In defense of my Dad, I don't think he ever wanted children.  He has a very selfish attitude, which makes it hard for anything that he does to be any less than all for himself.  Some people are great parents, some aren't.  And there's a whole world of them out there, my Dad isn't the only one.  If I didn't forgive him for every hurtful thing he's done to me, what kind of person does that make me?  I will not be a bitter, self absorbed person that is only interested in my own hurt and can't forgive.  That doesn't mean I will forget it all, but I can try.  Remembering that pain only hurts me, but I can also use it to make me stronger.
All that said, I got to see my sister and her kids.  My Dad has text me a couple of times since then, but we have yet to have the talk that I told him we need to have.  It's not something that can be done through text, or a phone call and I think we both know that.  It's just going to put us both outside our comfort level.  Neither one of us has been good with that, and I have the examples of our past makeup's to show for that statement.  I am going to give it a try, and see what comes of it.  But I'm coming from an angle of no expectations, and I'm being very careful of how close I let him in.  I will not allow myself to get hurt, and there's nothing wrong with that.  I'm being smart for once in how I deal with my Dad.  He honestly has nothing to offer me, and that's because I am not in need of anything from him.  Which gives me all the power in this relationship.  Before when I was young, I had the typical daddy issues syndrome.  I had a need for my Dad's love, affection, and approval.  Now it's the other way around, he needs me...  I don't know how I feel about that, and I don't want to abuse that power like he has in the past.  I need to find a way to keep it at a happy medium, so I don't get to that point.  Just writing about it here has helped me figure out my own feelings on the situation. 
I guess we'll see how this goes...  I'm suppose to go over to my Aunt Vickie's(whom I haven't seen in years), for a 4th of July party with the whole Ramirez family.  To say I'm a little nervous about it would be an understatement.  I don't know what's been said about me, or what they think about me.  I guess I shouldn't care, because whatever has been said probably isn't the truth.  I just need to get to that place where I can be OK with people not liking me, or thinking good of me.  My need to be seen in a good light comes from my need to please everyone.  No one can please everyone, it's just the fact of life.  And I need to take that to heart. 

“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.”- H. Jackson Brown

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”- Stacey Charter

“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”

Man down!

Hello blog that no one but me reads!  Haha.  This past week I have been learning how to deal with hurt feelings, and stubborness.  Partly mine, partly select members of my family.  I have gotten to the point where I can give it all to God, and let him take care of it.  It took me a whole weekend plus a day to get to that point.  But I am finally here, and it feels good! 
The hubby is currently at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, for AT (annual training).  The past two weeks have been hard to be without him, but he'll be home in six days!  He's ready to be home, and can't wait to eat real food and sleep in a real bed!  I don't know if I'm ready to share my king size bed though.  I have been enjoying having the bed all to myself lately! 
Nothing really new to report at the moment.  Same ole' same ole'.  I am excited that the new season of Trueblood is getting ready to start!  Because I finally got to the read the last Sookie Stackhouse book last week.  Curtis started reading the Game of Thrones book series.  I'm hoping he can finish them fast because I'm in need of a new book to read!  This Summer should be full of good reading!

"Spiteful words can hurt your feelings, but silence breaks your heart."

"That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways."- Fight Club

"There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting, and just be more careful about who you trust next time around."
 

Cleopatra I am not...

I could never live in Egypt!  I complain about our hot 90°-100° Summers here.  Cleopatra must have been one tough woman if she could live in Egypt and still be a the most desirable woman in Egypt.  If put in her sandles I would so not be desirable!   I cannot not make sweltering heat look good...  I would be a cranky sweaty mess!  Hence why I consider myself the world's worst Mexican.  Since our A/C went out a few days ago, It has been a steady 83° in our house.  Over the weekend I spent most of my time sitting in front of a fan in a tank top and shorts.  I took more baths this weekend than necessary just so I could sit in cold water.  I even sat with my feet in a cold bucket of water in front of the fan Friday night.  Partially because a large bottle of shampoo fell on my toe and it was swollen and bruised, but the other part because I was so stinkin' hot!  Thankfully we will hopefully have the A/C fixed by the end of this week.  My mom is going to come over while we're both at work and wait for the HVAC guy.  Mom's are awesome like that. 

What a busy little bee you are...

It has been awhile since I've last written.  I've been so busy I can't even tell you what all I've been up to.  At least my house is clean!  The bathroom remodel still hasn't happened...  Which is kinda disappointing, but it will happen soon.  We still have one working bathroom at the moment and it's really frustrating.  The only nice thing about it is that I really only have one bathroom to clean at the moment. 

Right now I miss my dad.  I guess I should say I miss my daddy, not my dad.  When I called him daddy that's when everything was good.  When I got older and called him dad was when I realized that he's a jerk.  And jerk is putting it mildly.  There are good things about him, but the bad really outweighs the good.  Considering we've had a rocky relationship at best my entire life is the only thing that keeps me from talking to him now.  I think it's been close to 4 years since I've talked to him, and I'm not going to let myself get stuck in the sentimental.  For the past 10 years I've had an on and off relationship with him.  I guess he really doesn't care about me if he hasn't tried to talk to me much over that time.  I can't tell if he just doesn't want to admit he's wrong and apologize just because he doesn't like to be wrong, or if it's just because he doesn't really care.  I guess I will never know.  I'm just having a weak moment...  I absolutely hate feeling vulnerable, and this is the last time I let him make me feel this way.

Creeper moment of the day:  While I'm talking to a old man at work today; said creeper tells me that I have "the most beautiful brown eyes".  What am I suppose to say to that?!  All I could muster up was "thanks"...  And to think the lady with him didn't look embarrassed or bothered by his comment boggles my mind.  Creeper alert!

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing. -Mae West

Pretty nails

I found this great tutorial for some banging looking nails.  I hope you enjoy!  I know I will be going to get some new fun colors to paint my nails!  Courtesy of the Cherry Blossom Girl

                                                       Cut five paper hole stickers in half.

Apply the base.

 Apply the first nailpolish color, and let dry.

When dry apply stickers on the nails.

Apply the second nailpolish(generally one coat is enough).

 Apply a few drying drops,so they are dry in seconds!

When your nails are dry take the stickers off.

 Apply top coat.

                                                                                Done!

The plague

I know I'm totally grossing my co-workers out with the way I'm hacking and blowing my nose every two minutes.  Oh well...  It is gross, and I have to deal with it personally...  My poor nose is so raw from all the rough Kleenex's I've used!  I would love to be able to breathe through both nostrils very soon.  I need to get myself some apple cider vinegar and honey drink.  My mom swears it helps you feel better, and we all know our mommy's really do know best!  I did feel well enough to work out on the elliptical for 30 minutes.  My throat hurt so bad afterwards but at least I got through it. 
Last night my husband and I had a great little play date with my favorite nephew!  They say you aren't suppose to have favorites but considering my older sister has chosen not to be in my life I never get to see my other favorite nephew.  That's neither here nor there...  Little V man is almost 3 years old now!  He's truly the most handsome and smart 2 year old I know.  He helped his Tia do laundry(he honestly loves watching the washer and dryer do their thing), get the dishwasher started, and we ate delicious ghetti(spaghetti)!  He played trucks with his Tio and eventually ended up trying to play PlayStation.  We always have so much fun with the baby man.  He's truly a joy to be around.


"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them." -Richard L. Evans

MHF seeking live in skilled plumber and all around handy man

I'm starting to feel a little like Noah these days.  It seems that the plumbing in my house is out to get me!  While getting ready to take a shower last night my husband found out that our toilet in our hall bathroom is leaking onto the floor...  So all in all we can take a shower in the hall bathroom, but we can't use the toilet.  We can use the toilet in our master bathroom, but not the shower.  Next thing you know we'll have a leak in the sinks in our bathrooms...  I hope I'm not jinxing myself!  The saying "when it rains it pours" is a very close description of my life these days!  I'm tired of paying the plumber to come out to fix our plumbing.  I just want everything to quit breaking! 
I think I'm going to start a ongoing tally of how many people I know that are pregnant!  Two more friends of mine have announced that they are pregnant, making it a total of 12 people that my husband and I know that are pregnant.  I'm really starting to feel like the odd woman out.  I think I'm finally at the point where I officially have baby fever.  Which that reminds me I have a baby shower to go to this Saturday. 


"Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." - Satchel Paige

The most hated word:Deployment

As long as my husband is in the military I will hate that damn word.  It means dinners, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, movies, bad days, good days, weekends, and out of town trips spent alone.  When you want to talk to him you can't, and sometimes when he can you can't.  It especially sucks when you have a 7 hour time difference, and then he could either be working days or nights...   Yes, there are things out there like Skype that make it a little more bearable.  But any military wife will tell you it's not enough to see and hear them.  When you're having a bad day, and you just need a hug they aren't there to give you one.  During his last deployment I found myself clinging to my baby nephew who was one at the time.  This time is going to be different for more than one reason.  His last deployment I was able to move out of our apartment and move into my mom's house.  Which was great because I saved money on rent, and got to be with close family.  But we bought a house as soon as he got back, so there's no moving in with mom this time.  This time I'm going at it all alone.  There won't be anyone to come home to, not even a pet.  We have been talking about starting a family within this year, but I don't want to raise a child alone.  I don't want my husband to miss out on the very special first year of our child's life.  I know people do it all the time, and I know I am a strong enough woman that I could if I wanted to.  I have had some women say that having them gone the first year of a child's life is a lot easier.  When they are older they can actually notice the absence and remember what it felt like to have dad gone.  This last deployment I felt as though my friends weren't there for me.  I honestly felt abandoned by them.  I had no one to talk to and connect with other than close family.  I have even less friends, and the ones I do have are busy with their families.  I don't think they should be there to coddle me, but it would be nice to have a good support system if I do need someone.  I really don't know what this next year will bring.  I know sometime in 2012 I will be going it alone for a year. 

We're taking on water!

I happened upon a startling discovery the other day as I was going through my evening routine of walking the long walk to my basement gym.  My gym room is just off the mechanical room of the house.  As we are all aware, in that room you would be able to locate a hot water heater...  Normally the floor isn't covered with puddles of water, but it was the other day!  Yes, my hot water heater is on life support as we speak, and I will be pulling the plug Friday afternoon.  Fortunately, I have a great boss that allows me to take some time off for the 3-4 hour process of putting in our new water heater. 

Since I have been spending an increasingly large amount of time working out in our gym I decided to make an addition to my new "home".  We added a new 26 inch TV with internet apps. including Netflix, Pandora, and Facebook!  My reasoning behind the addition is that I will focus on what's on the TV rather than the pain I'm going through while working out.  Needless to say it didn't take much convincing on my part when I told my husband my idea.  We really got a steal on the TV, considering it was only $380.00 after tax.  I'm hoping this will give me more incentive to work out now!  Especially today since I'm sitting here sipping on a Scooter's blended patriot!  Which by the way is exceptionally delicious and worth the calories!

I'm really getting into the crafting, reading, and decorating mood here lately.  There's something about Spring that motivates me!  I would love to finish my wedding scrapbook album, especially since it's been over two years since we got married.  I also have another project of doing Curtis' Army scrapbook album.  I know I will have to make a duplicate for his mom since she has contributed to my collection of Army pictures.  I would love to have it ready for her birthday or the very latest for a Christmas present.  I just need to start weeding all the stuff out... 

My co-worker Courtney recently gave me the first three books of the Pretty little liars series.  I am unashamed to say that I am an avid watcher of the show.  Even my super macho husband will occasionally watch an episode with me!  Hopefully he won't ever see that I shared that information with the world wide web!  So far the books are quite a bit different than the television series, but I love that about it! 

Somehow I have a million plans set for this weekend.  It's really exciting to be busy again.  Although I still wish I hadn't decided to take that stupid astronomy class, but it's too late now...  Oh well, I'll make due!

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.” -Wayne Dyer

Covet

Maria Nilsdotter ear cuff.

I love this pink Miu Miu bag!

Another great Miu Miu bag.


                               
KG by Kurt Geiger

Hooah!

I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the melodramatic episodes of Army Wives...  Everything on there seems to be way out played and some of the actors seem to be overacting their parts, but I can't help but love the show!  My husband is a Reservist in the Army, and I couldn't be prouder of him and the commitment he's made to our country.  We are so lucky as a nation to have individuals out there willing to give up their lives for the rest of us. 

On another note.  The weekend was pretty uneventful as far as weekends go.  I feel much older than I am when I think of how our weekends used to be just two years ago.  The partying with friends has almost come to a standstill.  Everyones lives are getting busier and busier, and we just seem to be getting more and more adult responsibilities.  We're not the young and hip crowd anymore...   As I sat in my comfy chair at 8:30am on a Saturday morning I realized just two years ago you wouldn't catch me awake that early in the morning!  While I sat there I started to take a life inventory.  I thought about all the crazy antics we got ourselves into, and how we managed to skate by partying almost every night of the Summer with little to no sleep!  Some days I wish I could go back to that time and relive it all over again.  Then I just have to realize that there will be more exciting adventures of another kind to come.  I know there will be days when I just want to go back to those days, but the future has to hold some kind of excitement too.

This weekend we found out that our plumbing is crap!  It looks as though my kitchen sink that was suppose to be fixed 3 months ago has again started to leak again...  This will be the third time we've had the plumber come out to "fix" the sink.  I swear to all that is holy if it's not fixed again I'm going to throw a fit.  I should not have to keep a pan underneath my sink to catch the excess water that may or may not spill out from the pipes!  Now on top of that our water heater is beginning to leak from the bottom.  Which means we will be buying a new hot water heater!  They better hurry up and get their happy butts out to our house soon, because it's starting to leak a lot more than it did when we first called over a week ago!  I'm really not happy with A&D plumbing, and our home warranty company.  I'm glad we have the warranty but it seems as though American Home Shield should be doing more to get the problem solved than they have.

We finally went to Star lumber over the weekend to get started on our bathroom renovation.  I can foresee the process getting very frustrating on my part.  Not only do they have about a million different tiles for you to choose from, but you have to figure out how you want them to tile it.  If you want a pattern or want a decorative piece put in that will cost you extra.  The flooring isn't any easier to make a decision on.  You can either do laminate, tile, or vinyl.  We have some pretty crappy quality vinyl in one of our rooms that you can just pull up without much effort.  But now I'm confused on where to start.  They say start with the largest object in the room and go from there.  I just don't know what all we can afford and what is necessary.  Right now we have enough room in our bathroom to have double sinks, but we only have plumbing for one sink in there.  Plumbing is expensive, and a plumber would have to rip out part of our ceiling in our basement to get it done.  Truthfully I'm already frustrated.  I just want to pick my colors out and I want it done.  I don't want to go through all the in between!  

Quote of the day:
"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." - Buddha

Amen Buddha!

They're trying to out fox us

So what has happened since the last time I wrote...  Hmmmm....  I got my haircut and it's super short.  The jury is still out on if I like it or not...  I finally got my Christmas tree put away last night...  I did consider just leaving it up until this next Christmas, but I realized that I wanted my living room back.  I finally got some cleaning done that needed to be done for a long time.  My husband and I decided that we're going to remodel our master bathroom, which is nice because currently it's pretty ghetto.  The bright avocado paint color was a good idea at the time, but when you think about it it's really actually pretty gross.  I have a feeling we may get in over our head, considering neither of us can be considered handy.  And that is no exaggeration! 

Recently we found out that a close friend of ours is having a baby here in about six months.  I'd have to say the news was pretty surprising.  It seems as though everyone around us is getting pregnant.  My husband is starting to get baby fever.  I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to get pregnant as well, but I'm just so concerned about how that will change our lives.  I wouldn't mind so much not working, as I would mind not having a moment to myself.  People say that when you have your own child it's not like you're giving up something but gaining a whole other purpose.  I just wouldn't want to screw that child up.  Neither of us had a very stable upbringing.  Both of our parents divorced before we were born, and neither of us had much of a relationship with our dad's.  I know my husband would be a much better father than what I had, but part of me worries about what kind of dad he would be.  He's never really been around children, and I don't want to carry most of the load when it comes to raising the child.  I have more trouble getting him to put his dishes in the dishwasher, how am I going to get him to remember to keep a close eye on a baby?!  Most of the time I worry about something, and it turns out fine.  But I really don't want to screw this up, I mean this is a life we're responsible for!  I would hate to raise my child and find out that my child resents me because I didn't get it right.  When it happens I want to make sure we're ready.  Everyone else needs to just stop getting pregnant so I can stop having all of these maternal feelings! 

I can feel the echo of my words right now.  Still no followers.  I guess that's what happens when you're struggling to be more of the real you than a version that is acceptable.  I don't quite feel comfortable letting someone see the very real side of me.  For one I can't speak without sounding completely stupid, or that I don't know how to form a complete thought.  I do know how to form a sentence it just takes me longer to get what I want to say out of my mouth.  Most people draw the conclusion that I'm either weird or have a screw slightly loose somewhere.  Maybe one of these days I can embrace the "take it or leave it" attitude I'm desperately searching for.

Friend status: solitary confinement.  At least that's what I like to call my total lack of good friends.  I tried to get a girls night planned for one day this past weekend, but I must not be important enough to be remembered.  There's always an excuse and another excuse for the excuse...  If you're not going to make time for me, I'm going to make sure to ignore you.  Until you call or text of course...  I need to stop the habit of forgiving you over and over again. 9 times out of 10 that has bitten me in the ass.

Plan for this week: stay on track with my diet/exercise program.  Get things accomplished when I say I'm going to have it done.  Be less argumentative.

"Lord please help me to change the things that I can, and accept the things that I cannot"- Unknown

Back in the saddle

I haven't been good at all at keeping up this blog.  With a lot of projects I start I tend to get bored with them and stop without warning.  Much like my trips to the gym, but instead of boredom I'd rather sit at home and watch TV.  Sometimes I think I have a TV addiction...  I really do feel better after working out, but its the part of making myself do it that's hard.  I really should not have decided to take that Astronomy class this semester.  It's been keeping me from doing what I want to do and has even kept me from working out when I wanted to.  The past couple of weeks I've been better at hitting the gym.  I really don't have an excuse because we have a gym in our house.  Now you're probably just thinking that it's nothing but pure laziness on my part, and you're probably right!  But after working a full work day and coming home to make dinner, I'm beat.  Really it shouldn't be that bad because I have a desk job right?!  That's what I try and tell myself, but for almost 4 years the other part of me has won out.  In order to stop the cycle I've started to put a real effort into getting back in shape. 

I'm actually trying to take a cue from my husband for once.  He always tells it like it is and honestly doesn't care what anybody thinks.  Some people thinks that's rude, but there's an art to being truthful and not hurtful.  Recently I have lost quite a few friends due to my people pleasing problem.  Yes, it really is a problem.  Instead of being truthful with one friend and telling her what an awful person she really is, I've told her she's right in her line of thinking.  If you're out there and you're reading this, I'm telling you now YOU ARE AN AWFUL FRIEND.  You're selfish, rude, unforgiving, bitter, an attention whore, a shopaholic( and that's why you're family is so broke and can't even live paycheck to paycheck), a liar, and a really bad listener.  Not telling her the truth ended up biting me in the butt.  Now she thinks I'm rude and a "negative person".  She truly has a talent in making everything into a big ordeal.  I was slowly fading her out of my life, when my husband made a comment on Facebook about her always having to have the attention on her.  Me being my true self tried to stay out of the situation, and told her when she so rudely texted me that she needed to take it up with him and that I was staying out of it.  Who would have ever thought that the "Unfriend" button on Facebook would mean so much?!  Oh, that "block" button is even better!  I wish I could say I got to push those buttons first on her, but at this point it doesn't even matter.  The only good thing about this whole thing is that I feel like I'm getting reacquainted with a friend that I had lost touch with.  I do wish one of my good friends wouldn't have abandoned me.  I don't know what's up with her.  We literally were best friends for the longest time, and would spend every weekend doing something together.  Now she is MIA.  I know life changes and people get busy but, it's literally been almost 3 months since I've seen her or talked to her.  As my circle of friends closes down to almost none, and my husband becomes increasingly busy with getting his masters degree I begin to feel very out of the loop and alone.  I'm really feeling the need to branch out and find more things to do and make new friends, because I'm starting to get the feeling of isolation.

I have decided that at the end of every post I will end it with a quote that I find either interesting or meaningful.  This quote really sums up my past couple of months, and validates it.

“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island..to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.” -Baltasar Gracian

Why not...

I've decided to join the world of blogging.  For awhile now I've thought about it, but each time shot the idea down.  I have now just realized that there isn't one good reason not to.  I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that wouldn't give a damn about many things I would say.  This is just a place for me to post what I'm thinking in the moment and share the things I love.  I promise that I will be very scatter brained, and will almost always say something dumb.  I never claim to be politically correct, so if you take something the wrong way you will just have to accept it.  I will not apologize for the way I think, unless I truly feel I'm in the wrong.  I can promise you that I will be honest if nothing at all.  So it all begins right here.