The most hated word:Deployment

As long as my husband is in the military I will hate that damn word.  It means dinners, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, movies, bad days, good days, weekends, and out of town trips spent alone.  When you want to talk to him you can't, and sometimes when he can you can't.  It especially sucks when you have a 7 hour time difference, and then he could either be working days or nights...   Yes, there are things out there like Skype that make it a little more bearable.  But any military wife will tell you it's not enough to see and hear them.  When you're having a bad day, and you just need a hug they aren't there to give you one.  During his last deployment I found myself clinging to my baby nephew who was one at the time.  This time is going to be different for more than one reason.  His last deployment I was able to move out of our apartment and move into my mom's house.  Which was great because I saved money on rent, and got to be with close family.  But we bought a house as soon as he got back, so there's no moving in with mom this time.  This time I'm going at it all alone.  There won't be anyone to come home to, not even a pet.  We have been talking about starting a family within this year, but I don't want to raise a child alone.  I don't want my husband to miss out on the very special first year of our child's life.  I know people do it all the time, and I know I am a strong enough woman that I could if I wanted to.  I have had some women say that having them gone the first year of a child's life is a lot easier.  When they are older they can actually notice the absence and remember what it felt like to have dad gone.  This last deployment I felt as though my friends weren't there for me.  I honestly felt abandoned by them.  I had no one to talk to and connect with other than close family.  I have even less friends, and the ones I do have are busy with their families.  I don't think they should be there to coddle me, but it would be nice to have a good support system if I do need someone.  I really don't know what this next year will bring.  I know sometime in 2012 I will be going it alone for a year.