All that said, I got to see my sister and her kids. My Dad has text me a couple of times since then, but we have yet to have the talk that I told him we need to have. It's not something that can be done through text, or a phone call and I think we both know that. It's just going to put us both outside our comfort level. Neither one of us has been good with that, and I have the examples of our past makeup's to show for that statement. I am going to give it a try, and see what comes of it. But I'm coming from an angle of no expectations, and I'm being very careful of how close I let him in. I will not allow myself to get hurt, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm being smart for once in how I deal with my Dad. He honestly has nothing to offer me, and that's because I am not in need of anything from him. Which gives me all the power in this relationship. Before when I was young, I had the typical daddy issues syndrome. I had a need for my Dad's love, affection, and approval. Now it's the other way around, he needs me... I don't know how I feel about that, and I don't want to abuse that power like he has in the past. I need to find a way to keep it at a happy medium, so I don't get to that point. Just writing about it here has helped me figure out my own feelings on the situation.
I guess we'll see how this goes... I'm suppose to go over to my Aunt Vickie's(whom I haven't seen in years), for a 4th of July party with the whole Ramirez family. To say I'm a little nervous about it would be an understatement. I don't know what's been said about me, or what they think about me. I guess I shouldn't care, because whatever has been said probably isn't the truth. I just need to get to that place where I can be OK with people not liking me, or thinking good of me. My need to be seen in a good light comes from my need to please everyone. No one can please everyone, it's just the fact of life. And I need to take that to heart.
“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.”- H. Jackson Brown
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”- Stacey Charter
“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”
“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”- Stacey Charter
“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”
“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”
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